There is no end to the amount of unhelpful beliefs that have held me back in life and creative expression.
For a long time, I hesitated to create my own blog. Adding to the collective background noise in your life didn’t appeal to me at all.
I fear not being heard
I don’t think anyone would consider me worth listening to. I have no fancy work experience or education history; no amazing travel or adventure stories.
I’m hardly interesting at all! I’m that person asking the questions, not the one being asked. I’m the listener, not the talker.
I’ve raised my voice above a whisper before, and I’ve been ignored or worse, misunderstood or slated. The fear of these things happening again has held me back from confidently expressing my opinions.
I fear being heard
Actually, and I’m being completely vulnerable here, I even fear the opposite – having a voice that is taken notice of! If that happens (some trick of a wand and hat perhaps?) you’ll find me hiding behind the curtains, trembling with stage fright!
If you met me, you’d be far from intimidated; far from riveted by my words. I don’t stand out and I don’t command attention. I don’t think I’ll ever be that person who is noticed. And that’s okay by me.
Why I’m blogging
I think I’m like a liquorice allsorts lolly. (No, I’m not about to use this like the onion metaphor for layers, in Shrek.) The combination of traits and peculiarities that make me me is not that important. All you need to know about me is the motivation of my heart – my character.
It’s not that I even feel like I need to be heard. I don’t need to blog for that reason. I have enough self-confidence to not require your validation. And I think there’s enough opinion out there to keep the infernos raging, without mine to add fuel.
No, I need to blog as a creative outlet. I want to express with the wonder of words what I passionately think and feel. If that makes your world a better place, even to a minuscule degree, then I’ll be ecstatic.
I’ll tell you what I’ve learnt from my life experiences. And maybe I can give you an insight where you might need it, or pique your interest on something you might want to explore for yourself.
But please don’t mistake this for arrogance. It’s not. And, in the face of countless lies that sometimes fill my head, I must remind myself that thinking it is arrogance is just another lie. It’s another lie, among others like ‘you are just like everybody else’ and ‘you have nothing different to offer anyone’.
The thing is, I don’t believe the lies anymore and I especially don’t want you to believe the lies in your head, either.
The fantastic West Australian author, Annabel Smith, encouraged me to publish online when she shared her thoughts with me about blogging and its validity. The way she thought about it was that all writers are like snowflakes, because together every one of us makes up a stunning, snowy landscape.
Her words hit me with a beautiful clarity – no two blogs are the same, just as no two books are the same. As humans, we are all vastly different. The works we produce are complex, unique fragments of a larger picture. They are pieces of our heart.
So today, my friend, join me as I outwardly tell fear to go fuck with someone else. Because today is my day! Today is your day! We own it and we don’t need permission to take whatever frightening leaps of courage we like!
Run, and don’t look back!